30 August 2010

What My Wife Does To Irritate Me

I was listening to Talksport radio the other day and I was in stitches. Men, the station’s listeners are mainly of the male species,  were phoning in with the things their wives do which irritates them. It was hysterical.

It made me think of the things J does which irritate me:

J and I have an agreement that last out of bed, makes it. So why, when it’s my turn to make it, the bed has to be made within 10 minutes but when it’s J’s turn, the bed remains unmade - because it’s airing?

Why, when she’s had all day to tell me something, does she wait until the moment I pick up the phone to call my brother and then starts talking to me?

Why, on the very rare occasion I use the jeep, generally to go to the tip, there’s only enough petrol to get me out of the drive?

Why, when Coco is ‘her’ cat, do I have to feed her and when Shadow is ‘her’ dog, I have to pay his vet bills?

Why did she get me to pay extra for a ‘night-time’ delay switch on the washing machine and dishwasher and then switches them on at 9am in the morning? Our overnight electricity is 40% cheaper!

Why does J wait until I say I’m going to the DIY store and then give me a shopping list for the supermarket which has been lying in her bag for several days?

Why, when I take J out for a meal, is the bill around €100 and when she takes me out for a meal, the bill is less than €30?

Why does she move my shaving mirror and my soap every time she’s in the bathroom?

Why does she leave her ‘leg razor’ lying blade-up in the shower cubicle – every time she uses it?

Why does J buy ultra-luxurious toilet paper for her bathroom and recycled, rough rubbish for mine?

Why does J have to move a sun lounger around for 30 minutes before lying down on it?

Why does my wife buy two types of orange juice, expensive and cheap and, yup, you’ve guessed it, I get the cheap stuff whilst she drinks the expensive brand?

But, even after all that she’s still not that bad!

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