Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary To Me

Yup – another milestone passed yesterday. My 58^th birthday  (am I really that old?), and my 1st wedding anniversary – all on the same day.

It was 1 year ago that J and I got married after 25 years of working out ‘if we were right for each other’. Nothing much has changed – we’re still as totally incompatible as ever. She doesn’t like me smoking my 2-3 cigarettes a day and I don’t like the mess she makes about the house. She thinks I’m mean and stingy (isn’t every Scotsman ?) and I think she spends like she’s won the lottery. Never the twain shall meet.

On a more positive note, our wedding seems like yesterday and I still look back upon it as a wonderful, wonderful day. Perfect really. Strangely, just like yesterday,  and I mean yesterday, the weather last year was amazing. After some rather dodgy days when the mist and rain threatened to ruin our ‘big day’, the sun was splitting the sky when we awoke on the morning of the 22^nd. That meant that we could take full advantage of the Marie’s (Town Hall) courtyard for the photos and our guests could wander around the Auberge’s gardens (main picture) before the wedding lunch.

What do I remember about the wedding?

I remember that all my family and friends flew in on the afternoon of the 21^st and we immediately started a 2^nd Stag Night in my bar at home (I had my 1^st stag night the previous week). I recall waking up the next morning and getting my sons and brother organised so we could make the Marie in time which was what they were supposed to be doing for me! My youngest son was actually still getting dressed as I drove them into the village! Note – I drove them!!!!

I remember J being about 20 minutes late for the ceremony and the Official who was performing the marriage, looking rather worried. I also remember, as our photographer asked us to pose in a rather naughty way on the ancient stairway of the Town Hall, the current Mayor passing us on his way to his office and wondering why a lady in a wedding dress was ‘groping’ a guy in a kilt just outside his official residence!

Then the lunch, which went like a dream. Our friend Sam had offered to do the flowers and the restaurant tables as a present, which was an amazingly original gift. The guests milled around on the various terraces of the Auberge in the scorching sunshine, drinking sparkling wine before we sat down to a delicious lunch.

One problem was that in an effort to get the guests out of my house and into the village on time, I had forgotten my speech, but sometimes it’s best to ‘wing’ it which is what I had to do. It seemed to go down well.

Later in the afternoon after having to ‘flash my bottom’ at an old French lady so she could establish if Scotsmen really do wear anything under their kilts, I started to relax and of course the wine and champagne took their toll. Taking a trip downstairs to the loos, I tripped and hurtled down the seven or so steps, straight through an unlocked cubicle door, and smack straight into the toilet cistern. I was bundled into a taxi and the next thing I remember is lying in bed with what I was sure was a broken nose. Luckily, a guest who was also a nurse, diagnosed it as nothing more than a bruise but that was the end of the wedding festivities, at least it was for me.

Waking up at about 2am and hearing all sorts of party noises going on, I looked out of the bedroom window to see my neighbours and my sons, still hard at it. Good for them I thought, I’ll get back to bed and my new wife. But she wasn’t there. I was on my own.

I went to the bathroom for a wee and there lying in the bath was my ‘best man’ and brother, Robert, completely comatose. I just left him there and went back to bed.

The next morning as people assembled for breakfast, it turned out that my new wife did not fancy (a) sleeping with a guy who was complaining loudly about his ‘broken nose’ and (b) sleeping in the ‘honeymoon suite’ whilst her new brother-in-law was only feet away snoring loudly in the bath!

It was a great day. See all the pictures at the following link. There’s quite a few duplicates – don’t ask me why. Depending on how you view them you might see some commentary.

http:/ /picasaweb.google.co.uk/tom.cupples/TomJulieSWedding?authkey=qLGMhXMKA9M#5259529482465778434