How Not To Sell A Scooter (or two)

I don't know why but I put both my scooters up for sale last week. I suspect at the back of my mind was the money I'd get for them which would allow me to buy a slightly bigger, newer model but it my heart of hearts I didn't really want them to go.

It's pretty stupid having two scooters because I obviously cannot use both of them at the same time but coming from a strict Scottish family where you had a set of Sunday clothes which were kept for 'best', I reckon that principle has remained with me and so I keep one of my scooters for 'best'. I'm also thinking of the summer when my brother and sons are down and we can use the scooters for running into the village for fresh bread in the mornings - much more sensible than using the car which means parking etc.

And so I put the advert on AngloInfo our local 'selling' forum on Thursday and there was quite a bit of interest. I'd put pictures of both scooters on the site (both scooters have identical specifications - they're just different colours and one is two years younger) and I have to say that the pricing was pretty keen. €550 for the older one and €750 for the later model. New rear tyres on both and a new battery in one. Oil changes every three months and both lovingly cared for - what more could a buyer want?

The flurry of interest included a Filipino guy who came up that evening with his friend, also a scooter enthusiast. He couldn't make up his mind which one he wanted but eventually settled on the older model. 'You give me scooter cheaper? You take a cheque and I take scooter', he said. 'I don't think so', I said. 'That's not the way it works. You give me cheque, I cash cheque and then you pick up the scooter and I'm not reducing the price'. They said they'd be back on Saturday but I never saw or heard from them again although there's always a chance they could call this week.

Over the weekend I washed and polished 'my little beauties' and I looked at them lovingly as they sat side by side on the drive. My heartstrings were being tugged!

Then a guy called from St Tropez. He wanted to buy both of them. I said one might already be spoken for (lie). Then several ladies called or e-mailed saying they wanted one or other of them. I replied that they'd both been sold (bigger lie).

But the guy from St Tropez was insistent. He knew the Honda was a good make and said they'd be ideal for running around town with his wife. 'Oh - a woman', I said. 'So, what's wrong with that', he replied. 'Oh it's just that the Honda has really bad, drum brakes and you really, really have to anticipate braking and you know women aren't quite so good at that sort of thing as men.'

'Oh drum brakes', he said. I never heard from him again. Yes - result!

Right - that's it for today. I'm off out on my scooter. Now which one should I use?