I'll Débroussaillage Eventually

On Monday, I had geared myself up to do the job I hate most – débroussaillaging (or something like that). It’s using an industrial sized, heavy-duty strimmer to cut down long grass and weeds and you literally get covered in all sorts of gunge. Complete with crash helmet, full face guard, Japanese face masks (yes really), welly boots and heavy duty gloves, I look like a proper worker.

I’d looked out of the window and was disappointed to see it was dry with just a hint of sunshine. I spent 20 minutes putting on all the gear and opened the garage door to go and do some serious damage to the terraces and …….. it was raining! Oh Joy! Everybody knows you can’t débroussaillage in the rain.

On Tuesday we went to San Remo, primarily for the market but also to go to a favourite little restaurant run by an Italian family and who do the most amazing pasta. In several years of going to this Italian coastal resort the journey and the parking has never been easier. Breakfast was had in a tiny cafe and then it was serious market time. Brian and I wandered off and left the girls to it but came across them at a men’s sweater stall. ‘It would be nice for you to get one of these for Xmas’, I heard J say so I chose a nice lilac cashmere v-neck. Price €30. ‘Go on – get another one’ she said so I chose a black one. ‘Three for €85’, the stall-holder said and I couldn’t believe my luck when J picked out a nice pink one. ‘Thanks darling’, I said, that’s really nice of you to get these for my Xmas’. ‘Oh I’m not paying for them. I just said it would be nice for you to get a nice new sweater for Xmas’! What a sucker!

After another €200 or €300 was handed over to stall-holders for a variety of things we’ll probably never wear, we headed up the hill to Garbys. We’d told Brian and Lynn to expect several courses and sure enough as soon as we’d sat down the dishes started coming. First was a dish of pasta pesto which was stunningly delicious. Really fresh. Then a platter of ravioli with ham in a cream sauce. This was followed by lasagne and then a dish of ricotta pie.

Veal slices and Lamb Cotoletto (in breadcrumbs) followed with plates of chips and then ice cream and Tirimisu. Washed down with sparkling wine, a carafe of red and a bottle of mineral water. The bill - €17.50 each ! Bargain.

We headed home just in time for the girls to get their glad rags on and head out for their Xmas girl’s night out. I’d organized a ‘retaliatory’ men’s night in and we hit the bar downstairs - big time. Watching a variety of videos (clean ones I hasten to add), the music was turned up, the wine and beer were poured and the cigarettes came out. Then about 11pm the girls (about 10 of them) returned and took over. Chaos! After saying goodbye to most of the ‘guests’ at about midnight, I left J and some stragglers to it. She finally hit bed at 3.15am! What stamina that girl has?

Wednesday was recovery day and thankfully the weather was terrific. My hangover would have seemed significantly worse had it been raining. It was a day spent cleaning up the bar.

Thursday and my ‘ring of death’ X-Box 360 was on the list to be fixed (it was) along with Kitty’s electric blanket (it wasn’t) but as the sun was shining (damn, blast and a few other expletives) I had to get the débroussaillage out and finally do the terraces. Unfortunately, I noticed the pool was needing cleaned so the débroussiage was put away again!

Friday – today’s highlight will be helping J with the Xmas food shopping . Aaagh!

Picture is of a débroussaillage machine.

April 1st Joke ?

Have you heard the joke about the Japanese submersible aircraft carriers which were supposed to sneak up to the US coast and then catapult their bombers into the air to wreak havoc on American cities? Nope? Read on – it’s not a joke.

Two Japanese submarines designed to carry bomber aircraft to launch attacks on American cities during the Second World War have been found on the sea bed off the coast of Hawaii. The vessels were captured by the United States Navy when Japan capitulated in 1945, but were hastily scuttled the following year when the Soviet Union demanded access to the vessels. The US had learned many technological secrets from the I-14 and I-201 submarines and did not want the information falling into the hands of its Cold War enemy.

Designed as underwater aircraft carriers, they were able to stow three Aichi light bombers, with folded wings, in a hangar on the deck. The aircraft were designed to be catapulted from the deck and were fitted with floats to allow them to land on water once they returned from their missions.

Aware of its inferiority in surface ships in the Pacific theatre, the Japanese Navy wished to take the fight to the enemy and the I-201 was given the task of approaching the US coast, surfacing, preparing and launching its aircraft within minutes. One of the earliest missions called for the aircraft to drop rats infected with bubonic plague and insects carrying cholera, dengue fever, typhus and other diseases on cities on the West coast of America. Five submarines were captured by the US in total and sent to Hawaii for inspection.

But in 1946, as the Soviet Union began showing an interest, the vessels were sunk by torpedoes from the USS Cabezon and sank almost 2,700ft off Oahu. The I-401 was the first to be located, in March 2005, but it has taken a further four years to locate her sister boat.

The I-14 carried enough fuel to travel 37,000 miles – or around the world one-and-a-half times – and was three times the size of other submarines of the time. It had a crew of 144, displacement of 5,223 tons and a maximum operating depth of 330ft.

Each of the Aichi Seiran bombers – whose existence was unknown to Allied intelligence – was able to carry an 800kg bomb over a distance of 650 miles at a speed of 295mph. A crew of four could ready the aircraft in 45 minutes after it emerged from the hangar on the deck and before it was launched from a 120-foot catapult on the deck.

They’re Not Taking This Lying Down

There’s always somebody, usually somebody senior, who thinks that this is their opportunity to make their mark and be noticed. This time it’s Copenhagen’s Mayor Ritt Bjerregaard, the ‘host’ if you like of the Global Climate Change summit.

I suppose he had the best interests of conference delegates (and their expenses) at heart when he sent postcards to city hotels to be issued to checking-in summit guests ‘advising’ them not to patronize Danish sex workers during the upcoming conference. Predictably, the prostitutes have struck back, offering free sex to anyone who produces one of the leaflets issued to hotels.

Mayor Ritt Bjerregaard sent postcards to 160 Copenhagen hotels urging summit guests and delegates to, 'be sustainable - don't buy sex'. In addition, he urged hotel management, ‘not to arrange contacts between hotel guests and prostitutes’.

Now, Copenhagen prostitutes are up in arms, saying that the council has no business meddling in their affairs. They have now offered free sex to anyone who can produce one of the offending postcards and their summit identity card.

The ‘offer’ has been organized by the Sex Workers Interest Group (SIO).

"This is sheer discrimination. Ritt Bjerregaard is abusing her position (ah – she’s a woman –that explains it) as Lord Mayor in using her power to prevent us carrying out our perfectly legal job. I don't understand how she can be allowed to contact people in this way," SIO Spokeswoman Susanne Møller tells the local website, avisen.dk.

Møller adds that it is reprehensible and unfair that Copenhagen politicians have chosen to use the UN Climate Summit as a platform for a hetz (hit, blitz ??) against sex workers."But they've done it and we have to defend ourselves. We’re not going to take this lying down," Møller says.

Hysterical.

A Nice Silent Night

‘No thanks darling, I’ll stay at home and watch the football with Tan.’ ‘No you won’t – you’re coming to church with me.’

And so on Sunday afternoon I reluctantly drove into Nice to attend the International Baptist Church’s Christmas Carol Concert and, against all the odds, a very nice afternoon/evening it turned out to be.

The Boulevard des Anglais was unusually quiet but the warmish weather meant that there were still quite a few families having late lunch picnics on the beach. The sea was a flat calm and fishermen could be found every five yards looking for those elusive fish – in ten years I have never seen a fish caught out of the sea here!

We managed to park quite easily although expensively (€13 for 5 hours !!) and headed for the church. The Avenue Jean Medecin was buzzing with people shopping, strolling and having coffees in the pavement café’s - the Xmas lights made it a very festive scene. All that was missing was the sprinkling of snow.

A group from J’s church were on the steps of the Basilica of Nice singing their hearts out and entertaining the passing Niceois. Inside, the church filled up with people of all varieties, old, young, French, non-French, tourists and locals alike.

One hour and about a dozen carols later, seven of us headed down into Old Nice to try and find the Socca Shop, that elusive place tucked away in a corner of the old town which sells the delicious chick-pea pancake. We found it relatively easily and sat on the outside benches eating plates of pizza, socca and farcis (stuffed vegetables) – all washed down with copious quantities of rosé wine. It was starting to get cold but we had a great time.

A long stroll back to the centre of Nice took us past the Xmas Fair and the Place Massena (pictured –not very good) which had the most amazing light show and we all agreed that when the French do this sort of thing, they do it incredibly well - unlike my photography.

A coffee was called for and we sat at another outside café looking longingly at the very popular pasta restaurant, the Villa D’Este which had refused us entry because two of our party had only wanted coffees whilst others had fancied a bowl of pasta. Hot pancakes were ordered all round as a sort of compromise whilst the Turkish waiter quizzed me on Scottish football in general and my team, Glasgow Rangers in particular – it’s a small world!

It was decided that I’d had too much of the old vino to navigate the jeep through the streets of Nice so J took on that responsibility and drove us home which was exciting and worrying in equal measures. A fitting end to what had been a great afternoon out.

Auberge de Miniscule

I think the Auberge de Tourrettes must’ve been closed when I arrived in France. As I was keen to try out all the eating establishments when I first lived in the village and I can’t remember eating there, I can only assume it was one of quite a few restaurants and bars which had seen better days.

Then there was a hive of activity a few years later when it was obvious that someone had taken it over. The outside got a coat of paint, the inside was remodelled and the garden was landscaped. Within a few months it became the ‘in place’ to eat. All the ladies would have their lunches there and in the evenings it would be quite busy with those who wanted something a bit better than the tourist stuff they serve down in the backstreets of the village.

Over the next few years, it became a favourite place for J and I to have a nice lunch. At €20 for a three course, exquisitely cooked meal, it was great value when you compared the food on offer at the other establishments. The €6 difference for the lunch menu (between it and the other places) was more than compensated for by the pristine white linen tablecloths and the good service. It was also one of only a few of the eateries which had an outside terrace and a great view.

So when J and I were deciding on a venue for our wedding reception in 2007, it was something of a no brainer. We had become quite good friends with Sandra the manageress and we knew that, carefully chosen, the food would be outstanding and the service would be impeccable. We weren’t disappointed. The day was a triumph with the highlight being the 5 hour lunch.

J and I continued, along with many of our friends, to frequent the Auberge but as time passed the portion size became smaller and smaller until we stopped going. Along with an increase in the prices, it ceased to become the ‘place to go’. Sandra was informed about the problem but I assume the Danish owner had decided to make a bigger profit irrespective of the feedback from regulars.

A couple of our friends, John and Sandie, continued to give the Auberge their custom however and invited us to join them on Saturday evening at the ‘under new ownership’ establishment. We’d heard that it was even more expensive than before and that incredibly, the portions were even smaller, but in a perverse way we wanted to see this for ourselves, so we accepted our friends’ invitation.

From 2 or 3 fixed price menus and an a la carte list under its old guise, the ‘new’ Auberge offered us two fixed price menus - €35 and €40 – that’s it. As the €35 menu was fish based, we all chose the higher priced meal with Sandie and I preferring a starter of foie gras from the cheaper menu rather than the shellfish starter on the €40 menu.

An ‘amuse bouche’ (mouth pleaser) of St Jacques was offered but bizarrely St Jacques was the starter on the menu, hence why Sandie and I had changed ours. I declined and was offered a microscopic piece of raw marinated salmon which was quite delicious.

The starter of foie gras was served in a block which made it somewhat difficult to eat and was served with a few slivers of fennel which disappeared with the first mouthful. This left the foie gras with no accompaniment to offset its very rich taste. J and John’s St Jacques, whilst looking a very small portion, was stated to be delicious.

The main course was lamb. When it was presented, I made a comment about ‘another amuse bouche’ as it was so small. We waited for the vegetables but amazingly they were already on the plate. One slice of potato about the size of half a potato wedge and three quarter inch cubes of turnip! To show you how small it was, John started telling a short story which took about 3 minutes from start to finish and by the time he had uttered his last syllable, I had finished! It was incredible.

Dessert was a bit better with 4 small dishes of various flavours appearing at the table for each diner. Interesting but at that stage I was ready for a full dish of bread and butter pudding with lashings of custard!

Had McDonalds not been so far away I would have headed there as soon as we’d left the Auberge. It’ll be a while before I return but I believe J is back there on Tuesday for a ‘girls night out’ so I’ll await reports if it is any better.