Ever since Timmy was a sprog, just out of nappies, his diet has consisted solely of burgers, pizzas and anything which has seen the inside of a deep fat fryer. When he came out to our house a few weeks ago, delicacies such as foie gras (goose liver paté), pied a couchon (pig’s trotters) and daube sanglier (wild boar stew) were completely lost on him. I tortured him mercilessly until the final day, the day of his departure, when I took him to the local bar and he salivated as he ordered a steak haché (burger) and frites but was crestfallen when I told him there was no chance he’d get the staff to put a slice of cheese on his burger. In the Midi, it’s either on the menu or it’s not. Full stop!
Last Monday, Timmy flew out to Qatar where the Americans have an air base which supports the coalition Air Forces as they cross the Persian Gulf on their way to Afghanistan to support the ground troops. Despite his mother’s severe reservations, Timmy couldn’t wait to get out there and I applauded his enthusiasm. In Qatar he’s not in a conflict zone but supports those who put their lives on the line every time they fly in to bomb the Taliban, but following his posting to the Al Udeid air base, Timmy is likely to be posted to Helmand Province in Afghanistan itself and that will be an altogether different scenario.
But back to the current posting. Timmy was positively drooling when he was telling me about Al Udeid. Because it’s an American air base, it has all sorts of facilities the Brits can only dream about. It reputedly has a Burger King, Pizza Hut, a KFC, bars, cafés and even lawyers and accountants. It even has a hut when you can order a car and have it shipped to the US!
Of course it was the ‘gourmet’ outlets which Timmy enthused about and last night when we were ‘Skyping’, all I got out of him was the excitement of wandering about an air base the size of a small town (25 square miles) looking for eateries. He'd already found a 24 hour mess which no doubt pleased him immensely given that at home in Glasgow, he is prone to going off for a McDonalds at 2 in the morning! He was definitely looking forward to a real good serving of American food.
In that respect I am with him 100%. I love American food. I love the way they seat you, they serve you and the fact that nothing is too much trouble – even an extra slice of cheese on your burger! I’ve had the best meals ever in the US. I still drool over the buffalo meat I had in Freemont, California. The meat loaf and corned beef hash in New York. The Southern food in Charlotte and the burger and beer I had at the Braves game in Atlanta when they asked for proof of my age – I was 41!
So Timmy, if you read this (and I’m sure he will – he’s a recent convert to my blog believe it or not), I am soooooo proud of you. Everybody out here in France is proud of you. I am jealous of you. I’d love to be there too, serving my country and supporting the Americans and the Brits in Afghanistan as they try to rid the country of a regime which made Saddam Hussein look like a charity worker.
I’d love to wander around the base with you looking for all the 24 hour food outlets but we both know we’d be like barrels within a few months – well I would!
So Timmy, when you’re loading a bomb on the next Brit plane, chalk on the side, ‘To Bin Laden from TopCat’ (my nickname at school). ‘Rot in hell with your son’. Yeah – nuke them! Sorry – getting carried away.
Here’s a URL for the Al Udeid airbase. Picture is of Timmy (aka Maverick)… or Tim as I’m supposed to call him now.
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