Money, Money, Money

Inevitably, when I tell people that I am retired, they immediately ask what I do with myself and then ask if I miss anything about work. I don’t mess about when answering the first. I don’t say that I’ve taken up oil painting, getting involved in the local dog’s home or running for the local council – I simply say what I do, which is a bit of gardening, reading the papers on the internet and losing money on the stock exchange. Nothing special there. It’s what I want to do.

Similarly, when answering the question about what I miss with relation to my old job, I don’t pontificate on missing the intellectual stimulus of major contract negotiations (which I don’t) or the buzz I got when a new project started (which I don’t). Nope – what I miss from corporate life is having a good old booze-up with my mates, Steve and Dee, after a particularly busy day and…..the monthly pay cheque.

As Xmas approaches and present lists seem to appear from nowhere, each one with more and more expensive designer items on it, I look at my bank balance and shudder. I took a conscious decision last year that as my pension is paid in Sterling, I would not mess about with monthly transfers, I’d bite the bullet, take a decision on the exchange rate and transfer a whole year’s money in one go. That money then has to be sufficient, no matter what.

It was a good plan at the time and although I am pretty good at managing my finances and I do believe in keeping a little contingency stashed away, the ‘extraordinary’ costs which just appear from left field almost defy belief. It must’ve been different this time last year and I suspect it was because I was still benefiting from a bonus I received from BT which I didn’t know I was due. Alas – those days are long gone. The only bonus I get these days is if Angie next door feeds Shadow and I don’t have to buy any dog food!

So let’s look at the sort of thing which just arrives and which costs a fortune.

The wedding. Ah yes the wedding. My wedding or should I say, my wife’s wedding? Despite stringent budgeting and cost control one just cannot legislate for one’s youngest son taking a €400 bottle of spirits from the drinks trolley in the hotel and disappearing with it.

Then there was the ‘honeymoon’ in Florida and New York which ran pretty true to budget until we discovered the ‘outlet malls’ in Sarasota and the Apple Shop in New York. Major damage was done to the credit card which fortunately meant a sterling hit rather than a run on my Euros.

A huge and unexpected hit was a €2,500 bill for taxes which I simply did not think would arrive this year. Along with a huge uplift in our other taxes, it completely screwed my budgeting for the latter part of the year.

Then, having been relatively healthy for years, I suddenly managed to suffer some medical problems which cost me an arm and a leg (get it ?) and although I have a French Health Card, the bills just mount up.

J wanted her eyes lasered. I didn’t see that one coming (get it ?). Major expense.

Then the cat died. How it costs more to treat a dying cat than a living being I don’t know but it does. The bill nearly killed me (get it?).

The home PC was knackered. It’s being fixed and will cost more to repair than buying a new one. I would just have dumped it but it has loads of pictures on it which we need to retrieve. New technology costs less and less each year but the repairs cost more and more.

So, when people ask me what I miss, the monthly pay cheque has a lot to say for itself. That reassuring ‘thud’ as the electronic pay slip hits your inbox is something I miss dreadfully. Especially at this time of year. Ho Ho Ho !