I’m off down to
I dropped J off in the middle of the road hoping she’d be mown down by a large truck so that I’d be spared the humungous bill which I know is coming my way but she managed to dodge them nicely – nothing wrong with her eyes! I went off to find a parking space. After a couple of circuits of the
Before we’d left home this morning, I’d said to J that if she was a brave soldier I’d take her for a nice lunch whilst her eyes stopped smoking and knowing that she’d make a beeline for the Martinez or the Carlton, I put on my faded Levis which did the trick. ‘I’m not going to the
After parking the car, I wandered up to Mr Laserleseyes establishment which was one of those large doors you would encounter in
Eventually, after pressing buttons repeatedly until my index finger hurt, I was allowed in. I entered Mr Laserleseyes ‘surgery’ (it looked more like a doctor’s waiting room) and there was the smell of something surgical happening. That unmistakeable smell of anaesthetic or whatever they put on you to stop your eyeballs falling out. I approached the receptionist’s desk and instead of grabbing her by the hair and asking why I was left outside buzzing for 10 minutes, I was niceness itself and said simply that ‘my wife is here’. ‘Which one’, she said. ‘Madame Cupples’, I say. ‘Non’. ‘Ah, Mrs Evans’, I tried. ‘Non’. ‘Mrs Hellon’, I said. ‘Ow many wives do you ave’, she enquired. I gave her the look that only a bigamist could and she relented. ‘Oui. Mrs Hellon is ere’. I waited about 20 minutes whilst J had her eyeballs measured and then we were told to go away for 3 hours whilst they tried to find a laser strong enough. Apparently J has ultra-thick cornea. I could have told them she was ultra-thick and saved myself the €160 for the initial consultation and measuring.
Anyway, we went off down the coast to La Thoule for lunch which was quite delicious and very reasonable until I worked out the likely cost of the whole trip and then I was sick.
Back we went to Dr Laserleseyes or more accurately, I dropped J off and went plant shopping. I picked her up an hour or so later. Her eyes were watery and red but once she’d put on her new pair of Specsavers sunglasses (ha - Dolce and Gabbana or nothing) she was able to see better and indeed drive me home. We only hit 3 central reservations, 2 old aged pensioners and a white van, so it was a good test of the success of the operation…….none of those count!
More on the eyes in a few days but my big worry is that now she can see she might not like me!