So What Do You Do All Day ?

That’s a question I get asked about ten times a week. On Tuesday when I was in the Post Office (yes it was open) there was somebody I knew in the queue and the usual questions started – ‘How are you. You’re retired aren’t you? What do you do all day?’

My Housework Apron

Well, for those of you with more time on your hands than you care to admit and are happy to read this, here is what Tuesday was all about.

I’d spoken to the kids the night before to establish what the school run times would be and luck of lucks, it was a late start. Up at 7am to check the weather to see if Guy can use his scooter for school. It was still wet but not raining (amazing!) so he could use his scooter and I wouldn’t need to run him into town. Then I made his breakfast and saw him off at 7.45am with the usual, ‘drive carefully’ and then check to see if Kitty had given up the warmth of her electric blanket and was getting ready for school.

She was and then it was back in the kitchen to make her breakfast. I ran her down to the bus stop (in my robe) at 8.25am and then luxury, back to bed and watch breakfast TV whilst doing my e-mails until 9.30am.

I’d noticed on my trips in and out of the kitchen that the cats had had yet another biology lesson during the night (see picture – not for the squeamish) but decided to leave the clearing up of the mess until later.

Shadow, who was still asleep on the carpet in the lounge, then had his throat forced open to get his medicine. You’d think after 3 months of this, he’d be acquiescent by now but no, there is the daily struggle to hold his mouth open, squirt the medicine down his throat and then hold his jaws together so he doesn’t spit it out. He hates the sight of that syringe and looks for the nearest open door when I approach with it in my hand!

Mince and Tatties

Next was the prep of that night’s dinner. Scottish mince and tatties (potatoes) which took until about 10.30am to organise. This will be a real treat for the kids as before J went off on her travels, she filled the fridge to bursting point with pasta and chicken. After three days of chicken the kids start revolting so we move onto pasta and after three days of that, they’re revolting again so we move back to chicken! I can’t say I blame them but it’s the missus who buys it – I just cook it according to the sell-by date.

However, I do feel a bit guilty about giving them so much chicken. There’s a myth (probably true) that says eating too much chicken gives you a high pitched voice (because of the hormones they’re stuffed with) and I believe that in their early lives, the Bee Gees were fed chicken regularly and that accounts for their falsetto voices. I don’t know if it’s true or not but Guy’s voice has certainly risen an octave or two since J went away.

At 11am I decided to try the post office again (you’ll see from earlier in this post that I was successful) and finally managed to get my Xmas cards posted. I bought some ciggies in the Midi and Coco gave me a glass of wine – so nice of him, even at 11.30am!

Back home, I looked at the blood and guts on the floor (I removed the guts before taking the picture) and decided that it just had to be cleared up but as the floors were covered in footprints (dog’s, cat’s and kid’s) I would wash all the floors together.

Job done, then it was emptying the dishwasher, load the washing machine and then sit down at 1pm to watch a bit of lunchtime TV. I’ll have lunch a bit later – the blood and guts have put me off somewhat.

Lunch finished at 2pm, I watch the news, and then get the log fire ready for the evening when it gets cold.

The afternoon was quite quiet. I did a bit more t-cutting of Sam’s heap (sorry – car), covered up my log pile and looked at Kitty’s Xmas list – all fourteen pages of it! Guy arrived at 5.30pm, I made him a warm snack and then picked Kitty up from the bus stop. She got a warm snack also – I’m such a good papa!

Kitty had an appointment in town at 6.30pm at the doctors so it was back in the car, drive to town, drop her off (she insists on going in on her own) and then do some food shopping before picking her up and getting home at 7.30pm.

Dinner (yes – Scottish mince which Kitty said was ‘distinctly sub-standard – little madam!)  and then clear up before packing the kids off to bed at 10pm when I can finally settle down and watch Rangers play their final European Champion’s League game in Turkey. But the channel has been moved and I can’t see it so over to Tan’s for the night.

And they say, ‘and what can you possibly do all day?’ 

Zzzzzzzzzzz.