I’m afraid I’m heading for the place in the picture – Grasse prison. As if living out here wasn’t bad enough, they’ve introduced a new law which means that men, or more particularly, husbands, can be jailed for insulting their wives.
Couples who insult each other over their physical appearance or make false accusations about infidelity, to name but two examples, face jail under a new French law making "psychological violence" a criminal offence.
The law – the first of its kind – means that partners who make such insults or threats of physical violence face up to three years in prison and a €75,000 (£60,000) fine.
French magistrates have slammed the new legislation as "inapplicable", as they argue the definition of what constitutes an insult is too vague and verbal abuse too hard to prove.
So, here we go …….
Wife - ‘Darling – does my bum look fat in this?’ Husband - ‘Yes darling, I’m afraid it does.’ €50,000 fine and a year in prison!
Husband - ‘So when did your mother take her degree in sorcery and witchcraft?’ €60,000 fine and 2 years in prison.
Husband - ‘Call that dinner – even the dog wouldn’t eat it.’ €75,000 fine and 3 years in prison (because it’s about food and the French love their food).
‘Are you having another Lesbian lunch in the Midi?’ €30,000 fine and 6 months in the slammer.
And the most common verbal psychological attack I can think of coming the other way is, ‘are you watching the football again?’ Now this is uttered so often in our house that only a life sentence and an unlimited fine will be a deterrent!
The picture above (sorry it’s so small) is of the local prison near Grasse. This is probably where I’ll go when I next insult my wife. It seems to be quite a civilized place compared to some of the other “maison d’arrets” in France. In the last few weeks there have been decapitations and one prisoner killed his cellmate and ate his lungs, so J - think carefully before you get me banged-up. I may lose my head and say something nasty but if you press charges, I might just end up losing my head!