28 May 2010

He Should Have Gone To Specsavers

It’s the annual dog shearing time and Shadow goes off to the poodle parlour to get his shampoo, cut and blow dry today. I have to say he comes out smelling a lot better than he does when he goes through their doors but for €70 I wouldn’t expect anything less!

In order to try and remove some of the brambles, weeds and other things he gets stuck in his thick coat when he goes for his afternoon and evening walks down to see his doggy pals, I took him down to the river last night for a swim (see picture). Reluctant as always to go into the ice-cold water which comes down from the mountains, I literally had to drag him in by his collar but once immersed he swims around quite happily. Problem is, as soon as he comes out he picks the nearest adult to shake himself against which is rather unfortunate and highly embarrassing if there’s a French family having a picnic on the rocks, or worse still, a couple having a snog on the river’s edge! Talk about having a cold shower to cool one’s ardour!

A quick brush to remove any remaining debris in his coat is usually a futile exercise because as soon as he’s free, he’s off to find a patch of soggy, dirty gravel to roll in so I have to try and curb his animal instincts and drag him back to the car.

The problem I had was, do I keep him locked in the house the night before his haircutting ordeal so that he cannot go and roll in whatever he finds in the woods or do I just let him go and do what he wants and trust him? In the end it didn’t matter. As soon as he got back from the river he disappeared into the ‘jungle’ and returned looking like one of those camouflage soldiers – grass and weeds sticking from every hair.

It’s just so embarrassing when I take him into the poodle parlour as all the other tiny dogs look at him and turn to each other with their noses twitching as if to say, ‘my God have you seen what’s just walked through the door – smelly or what? But I do like a bit of rough sometimes.’

However, I should relax because I think (and I’ve never stayed around to watch the process) that the first thing that happens is that he gets a bath. Or maybe that’s the last thing ? I don’t know – all I do know is that whenever the girl goes to cut his hair round his bum or his ‘doggy bits’ (well what’s left of them after his op several years ago – you see Shadow and I have something in common !) – when she goes back there, he turns and snarls which is very unlike Shadow but hey would you want a stranger going for your hairy bits with a set of electric clippers?

I’m sure it will work out fine – see his picture on Monday. I just have to make sure he doesn’t see that Specsavers advert on the telly where the short-sighted farmer shears his sheepdog instead of the sheep!

And finally, I was having a quick look at our local buy and sell forum (Angloinfo) and there was a guy, a guy no less, selling a second hand breast milk pump. Is nothing sacred ? And does his missus know?

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