The Big Clean Up

It’s another job I hate (there seems to be a pattern emerging here) – the big post spring clean-up. I’d really like to do this job earlier but there’s always a chance of an unexpected turn in the weather which would render all my hard work a waste of time.

First, there’s the jet-washing of the house terraces. Covered in a layer of yellow pine dust, there’s always the danger that once jet-washed away, there’ll be a strong wind and it’ll reappear again. Thankfully, my dear wife bought me a Karcher a couple of years ago which helps immensely.

Then there’s the oak leaves which have managed to get into every nook and cranny around the house (outside of course). They lie there in their little holes rotting away and hoping nobody will disturb them. I know where they are – there’s no escape.

The barbeque needs its annual makeover. The grease needs to removed from the wood surrounds and the tray which collects all the drips requires scraping and emptying – a horrible job. Maybe I’ll get Guy to do that one! Once all cleaned up, the wood needs re-staining and the front panel polished until every spot of fat and grease is removed. Here’s a tip for the metal panel – use White Spirit to remove the gunge and then T-Cut to final polish. I only do this cause my barbie has got wheels ! Sad – innit?

Chimney cleaning – I used to use Guy for this when he had spiky hair and was too young to know why I was sticking him up the chimney but nowadays I have to clamber onto the roof and stick some brushes down it and yes, I do tape up the fire down below so that the pile of soot doesn’t go all over the lounge floor. The weather is now regularly in the mid-70s (mid 20s C) so I reckon we’ve had the last fire of the year. I’d hate to completely clean the fire and then find J messing it up again burning all sort of rubbish in it.

Associated with the fire cleaning is the re-org of the wood pile. Amazingly, I had enough wood this past winter and even have a good start for next year but all the new wood needs to be stacked and covered. I hate going into the wood pile – that’s where the scorpions hide. Despite my hatred of these nasty little beasts, I have this absurd notion of deliberately getting stung by one to see what it’s like – maybe I’ll have a few drinks first!

Finally, all the interior plants need to be moved outside. I’ve already started this job and just hope that we don’t have a cold snap as anything below 15C will kill them. It’s amazing just how well they flourish when put outside into nice shady corners.

I really don’t know how I coped with all this when I worked for a living!!!

Oh, and Nigel has been causing trouble in San Francisco. Read about what he’s been up to at the following URL:

http://monaconigel.blogspot.com/2010/04/who-is-nigel-smarther-blair.html