18 March 2010

PMQs and the Comedian’s Forum

At 1pm on a Wednesday everything stops. The kids are exceptionally nice, even offering to clean away the lunch dishes (they have a half day on a Wednesday) and make me a cup of coffee. They know to close the kitchen door and leave me to it – it’s Prime Minister’s Questions (PMQ’s)on TV and I just have to watch it to see that lying toad, Gordon Brown, wriggle and lie his way through another 30 minutes of questions asked by various Members of Parliament.

Of course, his own side submit their pre-rehearsed questions ahead of time so ‘toady’ can research the subject and prepare his next pack of lies whereas he has little knowledge of what is coming from the ‘other sides’ although his henchmen will have predicted the sort of interrogation he is likely to get so he can be semi-briefed.

Yesterday was a classic – Brown decided to come clean under a beautifully crafted question from a Conservative member and admit that he made a mistake about the Defence budget which has been in the news recently because of the answers he (Toady) gave to the Chilcott Enquiry which has been looking at why the UK went to war with Iraq.

Now given that Toady infamously micro-managed the economy as Chancellor of the Exchequer and paid particular attention to large spending departments such as Defence, and has been spouting stats and spending details like a deranged maths professor for the last 13 years, admitting he got ‘something wrong’ with a set of numbers is akin to the Pope actually admitting he is a Protestant and a Rangers supporter to boot. Brown has never, NEVER admitted he got anything wrong but given that it was his specialist subject which he got wrong, every commentator concluded that what he’d been saying for months was a blatant lie.

Anyway, I’m sure this will blow up over the next day or so, so I’ll leave it there but what I really wanted to write about is the website I log onto when PMQ’s is on telly. It’s a forum on the Guido Fawkes Blog site for politic nuts like me and allows them to commentate on PMQ’s as it happens and some of the comments are classic – here are some of the cleaner ones from yesterday, with an explanation where needed:

Nice to see the pugnacious pie-vomiting bulimic prat from Hull showing his nice side on TV – a reference obviously to John Prescott

I miss Harperson’s old giraffe outfit – a first reference to the clothes worn by the lady members, in this case Harriet Harman

Was that Brown admitting a mistake? – somebody has spotted Brown grovelling at the Dispatch Box

He lied and they died – a reference to the fact that Brown has consistently denied cutting the Defence Budget for the troops in Iraq

Oh my God he’s admitting a mistake – somebody cannot believe it

Can you believe a liar when he admits he’s lied – a bit of philosophy here

Looks like Jacqui has been fighting over the pies again with Prescott- a reference to the fact that Jacqui Smith has been piling on the weight

Is that a yeti on the front bench? – another clothing reference

She looks like a sofa I once owned in 1989 – yet another clothing reference

Hain has topped up on the Creosote again – a reference to the permanently tanned Peter Hain, and finally,

More full of crap than King Kong’s colostomy bag – another reference to our esteemed Prime Minister

And that was just the first ten minutes.

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