Oddball Bits And Pieces

Here’s a few statements, comments, extracts from articles and a couple of videos which have caught my eye over the last week or so……

“It was said with all the solemnity of a vicar who has just found out his daughter is a porn star.” This was a reference to a statement made by a politician.

“I'm reminded of an old saying: presenters broadcast their mistakes but doctors bury theirs and lawyers imprison theirs." Said by Nick Robinson (BBC Political Correspondent) after he made a prediction on TV which, within 10 minutes, happened in totally the opposite way to what he had said.

“It sounds to me a little bit like selling a car with faulty brakes and then taking out a life insurance policy on the buyer of the car.’ Said by a politician when discussing how banks actually bet against some of their own clients in the stock market.

So J and I are sitting in the local bar having lunch when some friends dining at the next table were explaining to us how the EEC had provided the Mayor of Tourrettes with funds to repave the village streets, and J says, ‘and what EEC is that then?’ Doh !

Headline in a newspaper -“Man loses 6 teeth while smoking” – My view – probably because he picked up somebody else’s fags in a Glasgow pub.

So I says to J – “When we go to London for the May reunion, we’ll take the Gatwick Express, it’ll be quicker.” ‘Does that not stop so often then?’ she says.

Truck smashes into motorway bridge in Turkey – isn’t CCTV wonderful? How the person crossing the bridge from the left survived is a miracle. See video below.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/7090792/Truck-smashes-into-motorway-bridge-in-Turkey.html

ATM for midgets – oops sorry – vertically challenged persons.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newsvideo/weirdnewsvideo/7137563/UKs-lowest-ATM-is-a-back-breaking-18-inches-high.html

Story by a female journalist who based herself near the Chelsea training centre so she could do research for a book on WAGs: John Terry, England’s disgraced football captain and his wife in a restaurant – Terry - ‘I’ll have a burger and chips.’ Waiter who didn't recognise who it was – ‘sorry sir, this is a Lebanese restaurant we don’t do burgers.’ Terry – 'I don’t care what sort of restaurant you are, I want a burger and chips.’ Mrs Terry – ‘John he says they don’t do burgers now pick something from the menu.’ Terry – ‘I want a burger and chips – get me the chef.’ He got his burger and chips! Moron!

And still on a football theme …..

'He's a bootlicking moron.' Said by Carlos Tevez about his ex-teammate, footballer Gary Neville. Not bad for an Argentinian who supposedly couldn't speak any English!