7 January 2010

So What Do I Do All Day ?

So I meet somebody. After a few minutes the conversation goes onto what I do for a living. ‘I’m retired’, I say. ‘Oh goodness, what do you do all day?’ is the inevitable question. ‘Don’t you get bored?’ Here’s the story:

Assuming it’s during school term, I generally get up about 6.30am and prepare the kids’ breakfast before driving them down to get their school bus. The poor little souls need to get the 7.30am bus, which when you consider they generally don’t finish until 5pm, makes it a long day for them. And for me I hasten to add! There are however the usual battles with Kitty demanding to go to school looking like Kate Moss on a night out (yes – I know, I’ve used that line before) and Guy leaving the essentials until the very last second – you know the thing - putting shoes on, looking for his bus pass, making sure he's got his cigarettes etc.

Given it’s winter at the moment, I then return to bed with a cup of tea for J and switch the news on and check my e-mail. Thanks to the miracles of WiFi I can snuggle back under the covers and still peruse the messages which have come in overnight. I also do my blog at this time, ready for the editors of the major newspapers arriving at their London desks to see if I’ve written yet another stunning, incisive piece of journalism.

Once I crawl out of bed I usually get the fire ready for lighting that evening, chuck Shadow out and then have to face the mess left over from the previous evening’s dinner. J, whilst a wonderful wife, has a phobia common to most women, that of loading and unloading the dishwasher!

Thereafter, a variety of jobs around the house (despite it only being 3 years old) and a variety of jobs next door (despite it only being 19 years old) keep me going till lunch time. If I have to dash to the shops to get some DIY, it never takes less than a couple of hours, so whatever is happening, lunch time approaches and I’ve usually been pretty busy.

I have my ritual glass of wine and cigarette at 12.30pm and then a quick lunch in front of the telly if there’s some cricket on (which it is at the moment) and I’m ready for the lunchtime political and news programmes, followed by my one and only soap vice – Doctors. Do you know that there are millions of Doctors fans out there and none of them admit to it unless they’re questioned very closely? It’s almost as if it’s a crime to admit you’re a Doctors fan but as it’s the only series I watch (mmmmm Zara !!) and as it’s now part of my lunchtime break, I’m happy to admit it. So there!

Afternoons usually consist of doing a few bits in the garage or some work on the variety of vehicles we’ve collected (3 scooters – 2 cars), or if the weather is ok, a bit of external maintenance such as gardening or clearing the paths and the drive.

About 5.30pm I pick Kitty up from the (returning) school bus and make her and Guy some little snack to get them through to dinner. Guy and I may have a boxing match during which he will invariably knock me out several times (Wii of course) or we'll watch a documentary about building a never-before-constructed bridge over some American river.

And whilst I struggle through the day wondering if God has given me enough time to complete all my tasks, J has her morning tea , if not a beautifully presented breakfast, in bed, has a 2 hour bath, pampers her gorgeous little body and then retires to the kitchen where she works on her Open University Degree course in Kitchen and Fridge Management . This takes her to lunch when she invariably joins a friend at one of our numerous local Michelin starred restaurants. A light sleep post lunch and she wakes up to her beloved children returning from school. Her first question after waking is usually, ‘what are you making for dinner tonight dear’.

And so life goes on at Le Brin and before you ask, no, it's not me in the picture!

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