10 November 2009

E-mail From The Prime Minister

So, I’m sitting watching the footie on the telly having a nice glass of Italian red when my e-mail alert sounds. If it’s another bloody message from e-Bay I’ll go beserk I’m thinking, having tried to delist myself from its mailing service several times over the course of the last week as it sends me countless e-mails begging me to buy the latest line in ladies weight reduction devices. Of course I could always be wrong and it’s the electronic bill from J’s visit to Marks and Spencers last week. I hope not! There’s not enough money in the global banking system to cover that bill!

I glance at my iPhone and blink. I look again and blink again.

‘From : 10 Downing Street.'

Wow - I’ve hit the big time. Has the Prime Minister has discovered my blog and wants to discuss my radical approach to resolving British and global problems? But I’m also worried. Has he seen some of the less complimentary things I’ve written about him, of which there’s been a few? Maybe not. Has he, in his quest to develop a government of ‘all the talents’, realized that unless he gets me into a major ministerial role pretty soon, he’s going to lose the next election? Does he want me to be a sort of Under Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs with Special Responsibility for France? Maybe he knows how tight, sorry careful, I am with my cash and he wants me to replace Alistair Darling at the Treasury? Who knows? Excitedly, I open the e-mail.

It says, ‘You signed a petition asking the Prime Minister to resign. The Prime Minister's Office has responded to that petition and you can view it here’:

‘The Prime Minister is completely focussed on restoring the economy, getting people back to work and improving standards in public services. As the Prime Minister has consistently said, he is determined to build a stronger, fairer, better Britain for all.’

What a complete wazzock !

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