Where's The Beef ?

Guy and I were a bit early for his appointment at the hospital last Wednesday so we decided to get lunch at McDonalds (McDo to the French). We didn’t have enough time to actually sit down so we went through the McDo Drive and really impressive it was too. It might have been due to the fact that it was lunchtime but there were McDo staff everywhere. It was just like when you arrive at an American airport Hire Car compound – you’re assaulted by people at every turn and before you know it you’re in your car and off you go. It was just like that. The car hadn’t even stopped when a guy accosted us and asked what we wanted. We placed our order and were given a ticket. We continued driving and then somebody took our ticket off us and then asked for the money. We continued driving (very slowly I may add) and another person took our ticket again and shouted through the window (of the restaurant) and then a carrier bag was thrust through the car window and we were waved off.

‘€11.50 – that’s expensive for two McDonalds’, I said to Guy – ‘what happened to the 99p burger deal.’ ‘That’s Burger King, dongo’, he said. A bit confused, I drove onto the hospital where we parked in the basement (and yes – you pay to park at French hospitals) and eagerly opened the carrier bag. Yup – there were the fries and the orange juices and then the burgers. What a disappointment. You see these adverts on the telly where the guy takes hold of his burger with both hands and then finds his jaws don’t open wide enough for him to take a bite. I could have swallowed my excuse for a burger in one fell swoop. It was pathetic. I've seen bigger fairy cakes! Has no-one ever taken these robbing bandits to the Trading Standards for complete and utter misrepresentation?

Like many crap places I go for lunch (the Fawlty Pergola for one), I swear I will never return but I just had to give McDo one more chance. It is, after all, where divorced parents go to hand their kids over for the weekend so it has a special place in children’s (and step-parents) hearts, but they’re a bit old for ‘Happy Meals’ now so we’ve upgraded to Big Macs – ha! Big Macs – that’s gotta be a joke!

And so today, just as the memory of a rubbish €11.50 meal was fading, I read that McDonalds worldwide profits have increased, primarily due to their new innovation – a 1/3^rd pound burger! I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or look in the French Yellow Pages for the equivalent of the Trading Standards office.