There are things which are said and then there are things which remain unsaid. The following are things which I’ll never hear being said to me:
1. Guy – will you help me with my PC (he’s a gooooroooo)
2. Kitty – I’ve cleaned and tidied my bedroom
3. Julie – let’s roll about on the floor in front of the fire
4. Julie – what would you like to watch on TV?
5. Waiters – would you like a drink before you order sir?
6. French Drivers – after you, please you go first
7. Neighbour Tan – you don’t want another drink, do you?
8. Shadow – woof, woof, woof, woof (he only ever barks 3 times)
9. Kitty – I only need 4 euros for lunch today (usually it’s between 8 and 10)
10. Julie – you sunbathe today and I’ll do the weeding in the garden
11. Julie – I just can’t stand going to the shops today
12. Julie – let me pay for lunch this time darling
13. French Shopkeeper – of course I’ll change it sir or would you like a refund?
14. France Telecom – can I help you?
15. French neighbor – bonjour
16. Julie – would you like me to help you wash the car?
17. Lottery Organisation – you’ve won!
18. French Bank Manager – we’re going to refund all those charges we’ve made on your account
19. Local Wine Merchant – you buy so much we’re going to give you a discount
20. UK Inland Revenue – we’re paying back all the extra tax you’ve paid
21. French woman in car park who bashes your car as she opens her door – oops sorry – let me pay for the damage
22. Mayor’s Office – Mr Cupples you’ve got such a big garden we’re going to do it for you
23. Guy – Thomas I’ve written to the TV channel and you have dinner dates with Suzi Perry, Vicky Butler-Henderson and Britney Spears
24. Google Blog Organiser – you’re blog is sooooo good we’re going to publish it.
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