Pigs At The Trough

I had a blog posting written about something French but it’ll keep. It’s another political bloggit today I’m afraid, but hang in there – there’s quite a good ditty at the end, if I say so myself.

It’s a laugh a minute in UK politics at the moment. Well, it would be if it wasn’t costing us UK taxpayers a fortune for all these things the average MP (of all denominations) racks up on his or her expenses.

I often wondered why people gave up normal, everyday lives to become a politician at Westminster. Was it the dream of helping people by passing good laws and making a difference? Or, was it that duty called and they simply wanted to serve their country?

Not a bit of it. It was the huge amount of dosh they could rake in by fiddling the ultra-loose House of Commons expense and allowance system. 

Think I’m being a bit all-encompassing or generalistic here, especially to the newer MPs?  Forget it – there have been dozens of reports of new MP’s, only through Black Rod’s door a couple of months, racking up thousands of pounds for ridiculous items which their poor constituents would just love to have someone pay for. The ironic thing is that it’s the constituents who are paying.

Anyway – not wishing to labour the point (get it – ha ha !), I thought I’d finish with this little ditty (dreamt up by your’s truly) which can be sung, or at least recited, to that lovely song, sung by Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. …….. My Favourite Things. 

Here's the original so you can recall the tune.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw2VX5wQYQg

 

Bath plugs and porn films, kit-kats and comics

Light bulbs and loo rolls and things alcoholic

Moat cleaning done at the start of the Spring

These are a few of my favourite things

Painting of ceilings and TVs and dresses

Artex removed and replaced without stresses

Bags of manure at the other house in Tring

These are a few of my favourite things

Tampons and Hi-FIs and mortgage relief

Cleaning and pressing without any grief

Porticos built with a doorbell that rings

These are a few of my favourite things

When Sky News calls

When the polls drop

When I’m feeling sad

I simply expense all my favourite things

And then I don’t feeeeeeel soooooo bad

All this came to me as I ripped my hunky body to shreds down in the jungle. I toiled and sweated (yes I did) as I tried to regain control of my land back from the Japanese Bind Weed and the brambles, and all the while I knew that somewhere in a rural idyll on the Sussex Downs, some greedy git of an MP (probably Tory cause they’ve got all the land) was actually getting a team of gardeners to do the same to his overgrown acres back in the UK …… and I’m paying for it through my taxes. It’s a bloody scandal!