The Big House on the Hill

I first saw the house when my friend, Clive offered to show me round his new project. Clive renovates villas and was trained in the architectural practice of Robert Dallas, probably the most sought after person out here to design your house – if you can afford him! Clive therefore has a wealth of contacts and a good eye for the sort of things people want designed into their houses and apparently one of his contacts told him about this partially finished house, occupying a commanding position on the hill behind the village. From what I recall of what Clive told me, some partners were building the house when they hit financial trouble and the bank foreclosed on them.

I don’t know the details but Clive bought the house from the bank (or he could have agreed to finish it for the bank) and set about creating probably the largest, most luxurious, most expensive house for miles around. When I saw it in its partially completed state, it was already stunning. The lounge itself was the size of most houses. The hall and floors were finished in the finest marble and the views were spectacular. If I tell you that most houses out here are between 150-200 sq metres and this place was 500 sq metres, you might get an idea of the imposing nature of it. It was truly awesome – as they say.

Once finished, it was put on the market for £3.5m and I lost interest in it after seeing it in the estate agent’s window for month after month.

About a year later I was having a conversation with my ex and when I said where I lived, she said her best friend’s husband had just walked out on her and had bought a £3.5m house in that very village. A small world indeed.

Clive later told me that the guy who purchased it worked in London and would only be using it occasionally and that he had asked for a car, the exact same spec as Clive’s to be bought and stored in the garage. It was a very distinctive Wrangler Jeep, dark green with a tan soft top. Thereafter, I would see this Jeep driving around the village and I would think – 'there’s one very rich guy - a £3.5m house which he uses only occasionally’!

Once again I forgot about the house, and even the fact that I hadn’t seen the Jeep driving around for quite a while never registered. After all, to afford a house like that he was probably a banker and we all know how busy they are at the moment!

Then Kitty came home from her friend’s last week and shouted, ‘you’ll never guess who’s bought the big house on the hill’. Well – it could have been anybody so where do you start? Anyway, the answer was Eva Longoria (her of Desperate Housewives fame). I was highly dubious. After all, why buy a house in the backwater of  Tourrettes when you can afford St Tropez, Monaco, Cap Ferrat?

So I did some research – she’s married to a French guy (with a not very French name – Tony Parker), who’s just bought into a French basketball team. They holiday in St Tropez and Eva was in Nice recently and they have been looking for a house in France. It all adds up. But I’m still dubious. Until I bump into Eva in the Midi and she asks me for a light for her cigarette, I won’t believe it. Now you know why there’s a picture of Eva at the start.

The house is on Google Earth at the following coordinates…. 43.43.33.48N and 7.03.59.12E. Kitty has sneaked into the garden and taken a grainy picture of it but unfortunately the quality wasn't good enough for my blog, nor was the gorgeous Eva sunbathing in one of her skimpy swimsuits!