It Made The News Today….

Some possibly interesting stories from the French media for those in the UK who seem to have to read about death, despair, the weather and Gordon Ramsay’s affairs every day…..

Firstly there is the story about some 3 star Michelin chefs who are giving up their restaurants in order to go back to more simple fare simply because of the pressure of trying to retain those coveted awards. I suppose the only way to go when you have won your 3^rd star is down and so, many of the chefs who create those gastronomic delights in France’s thirty six 3-star restaurants, are wondering whether it’s all worth it, indeed, one poor guy committed suicide a few years ago after his star rating was reduced from three to two. Maybe Michelin should have a 3+ rating or why not a 4 and a 5?

Then there was the story which sums up France’s passion for bureaucracy when it was discovered that by selling things on e-Bay, by law, you have become an ‘enterprise’ and are subject to all sorts of weird and wonderful rules and regulations. Somebody was fined over €3,000 in 2006 for being bold enough to sell some bric-a-brac on e-bay and not declaring themselves as a commercial enterprise. Only in France!

And what about the Greenpeace protest at tuna fishing? What did they do? They dumped dozens of rotting tuna on the doorsteps of the Ministry of Agriculture in Paris to make their point. So where did they get these tuna? Did they buy them at the Paris fish market in which case the market bosses would have called the trawlers and said they’d had a run on Tuna and could they catch some more please!     

Now if the Greenpeace protesters had decided to buy their tuna on a Sunday in order to let them rot for a week then they would have had to change their plans cause in good ol France there’s not too many, if any shops, open on a Sunday – it’s against the law apparently. I always thought that Sunday closing was just the French way of saying, ‘we’ve made enough money during the week thank you and Sunday is for stuffing our faces’. But apparently not. It’s against the law to open on a Sunday as it is to have sales outside the two designated official sales periods. Bizarre.

And then there was the former French politician who was arrested and fined for showing a sign when President Sarkozy’s car passed one day. The sign read, ‘casse-toi pauvre con’, which in most French people’s eyes would mean, ‘get lost you sad git’. Now if everybody who shouted or showed signs or slogans when Gordon Brown’s entourage passed on that long journey between No 10 and the Houses of Parliament (300 yards ??) nobody would be left on the streets of London. They’d all be banged up. The ‘nice’ ending to this story was that the words on that French sign were exactly the same words which Sarkozy used when addressing a French farmer last February!

What about the poor school kids? Not allowed to take any snacks to school to have during the mid-morning break. My kids leave at 7.20am on some mornings and don’t get lunch until 1pm – that’s 5 hours and 40 minutes without food. The actual story highlighted a headmistress who refused to allow kids to eat fruit at ‘playtime’ because of obesity fears! And all the while the kids could see teachers eating in the staffroom. You may not know this, but French schools do not have vending machines or ‘tuck’ shops and the kids are not allowed to take packed lunches. They either go home or have lunch in the school canteen. The headmistress in question was adamant that ‘it is bad for children to eat constantly’. Bet she’s as fat as a barrel!

And finally……..on the 6^th to the 14^th December in Paris is the Salon du Cheval which sounds like it is the horsey equivalent of Crufts. Each year over 1000 horses, ponies and donkeys appear and what do you think happens to all those equine beasts at the end of the show – yup – you guessed it – the French eat them ! Only kidding but I bet next month’s pension that the burger stands in the hall (sorry salon) sell Cheval Burgers. I bet they do.