Happy Xmas to you all. I hope you, your families and friends have a wonderful festive season and a very prosperous 2010.
Amazingly, I get several propositions a week and they’re not from dingo’s either. I mean, just look at the beauty in the picture. I forget her name – there’s just so many of them – all beautiful and all longing for someone with my characteristics – male, older, speaks English, and that’s about it. I suppose having some cash might help but it’s never mentioned.
Before I get excited however and look out my pre-nup to see how much it’ll cost to get my recent marriage annulled/cancelled/declared illegal etc, I do a bit of digging, and hey presto, there’s a catch – they’re all eastern Europeans looking for a rich man.
Take the most recent application for my love. Tanya likes dining out, holidays, shopping. She’s aged 21, lives in Kiev, Ukraine and unashamedly says, ‘I am looking for someone in the age group 20-50 and someone who could tell me these simple words: I don’t know what is going on in your life right now, but I’ll stand by you and will love you more than you could ever dream, you can totally rely on me. You should believe that happiness depends on a person only, on whether he wants to be happy himself.’
Spot the problems? All Tanya’s hobbies are cash dissolving activities. And the age range from 20-50 – not too fussy is she?
Anyway, after I puked all over the carpet at Tanya’s plea for love and happiness, I deleted the e-mail and went onto Facebook and there I had a message from Natasha asking to be my friend. Who is Natasha? No idea – just another eastern European siren trying to wriggle her way into my affections.
I tried to close the PC before the kids could see Natasha’s request for ‘friendship’ but it was too late. ‘Who’s that Thomas? Is she a friend of yours? Mummy – Thomas has got a woman friend on Facebook’. Well – I haven’t seen J move so quick since the doors opened at the Marks and Spencer sale in Oldham, and she was over in a shot. ‘Who’s she then?’
‘No idea darling – just a gorgeous girl called Natasha asking to be my friend on Facebook.’
And so the inquiry went on. J wanted to erase the request there and then. The kids wanted me to accept her request. I just wanted to see her profile pictures to see if she’d posted any ‘interesting’ ones.
I got a slap and closed Facebook after erasing Natasha from the ether.
But just in case any of you guys out there are interested in improving your Latvian, Russian or Belarusian, here’s a site for you.
http://www.hotrussianbrides.com/guesthome/
So, in a moment of impending generosity, I looked about for something to do on New Year’s Eve. This was on the basis that we would be childless (or adolescentless even) on the evening in question. Invariably, we either attend a party which is great because it takes care of everything, or we’re not invited because of my previous indiscretions - feeding a pair of boxer dogs sausage rolls from the buffet, crawling all over a female reverend on a sofa, wiping the hostesses armpits with baby wipes and then eating them, etc etc – but this year we are likely to have Kitty with us, so I looked around for something which would demand good behaviour – a nice dinner out.
Now, we all know that food served on New Year’s Eve tends to be rather expensive, not because the actual ingredients cost any more but because the fallacy is that the restaurant staff have to be paid twice as much, which is a load of old bollocks because, in France, I bet they’re not paid a cent more than a normal week. Anyway, it’s an excuse for restaurants to put their prices up and we all know it happens.
So, as I was travelling to London last week, I picked up a copy of the Riviera Times and came across a set of New Year’s Eve dinners – read on ……..
Le Grill – Hotel De Paris in Monaco (pictured) - €485 per person !
Salle Des Etoilles – Disco Night - €520 per person !!
Le Louis XV (Alain Ducasse – the Gordon Ramsay of France !!) - €760 per person !!!
And the coup de grace …..
Salle Belle Epoque – Hotel Hermitage - €950 per person but there is half a bottle of champagne per person included !!!!
And, all prices excluded drinks and accommodation, although as I usually fall asleep under the table, that’s not something I worry too much about!
Recession – what recession? The pubs had standing room only. Every restaurant was full and my hotel had a 95% occupancy that week.
Recession – what recession? In the 18 months since I was last in London the skyline has already changed with huge skyscrapers being built all over the City.
The Tube is still the same. Overcrowded, and after every trip you feel like you need a shower.
One of the UK’s biggest selling newspapers (600,000 copies at 50p a day), The London Evening Standard, is now free. What sort of economic business model is that ? Am I missing something?
Marks and Spencers, once a delight to shop in because of the space afforded to shoppers, is now so crammed with clothes stands, you cannot wait to get out of the place - it’s claustrophobic. They’ve also got self-service check-out terminals – I had to get the assistant to help me no fewer than 4 times – me or the technology?
The building of the London Shard has started. I can’t wait to see it when it’s finished – see impression above. It will redefine London’s skyline. At 306 metres it will be significantly taller than any other building in the City of London, indeed it will be Europe’s tallest building.
Even in the rain/sleet you could get a taxi – have the bankers deserted the City?
My mate who has worked for IBM in London for 28 unblemished years has been ‘forced’ out of the company with no redundancy payment and no recognition of his service – a sign of the times?
Despite it all, London is a great city – I love it.
