18 September 2008

Pure and Unadulterated Nostalgia……


I sometimes get pathetic and I have to say poorly written comments about my Blog postings, generally having a go at me for my political leanings or my frequent (and justified) ridicule of the French but I got one today which was quite the opposite. It was from an old friend and colleague, Harry McIntosh, who, in the late sixties and early seventies was part of the experiment which was Rootes/Chrysler (subject of a previous posting). Seems like someone noticed my Blog and passed it onto more of my ex-Rootes colleagues so I thought today, I would write about the 18 guys who joined me in the class of 68 at the then Rootes car company, soon to be bought by the Chrysler Car Corporation. The posting is my main memory of each individual and is primarily for those ex-Rootes guys who might read it. Others might find some of these memories in bad taste, downright despicable or maybe even hysterically funny…..but that epitomises the ‘Class of 68’. So in no particular order, here goes……and you might find that Harry crops up in quite a few of them…. 

  1. Alan Eunson – we thought he was the posh one because he came from the posh part of Glasgow but he became one of us. I remember him being a brilliant driver for some reason. He was the best in the class at metalwork so we used to get his finished metalwork, shave a few millimetres off them and stamp them with our initials.
  2. Kenny Tindle – Harry’s mate who had a stag party in Linwood which turned into the biggest battle since the Alamo. I think he’s still paying for the damage 30 years later !
  3. Eddie Molloy – really good looking guy (I was soo jealous but I’m not gay – honest) who managed to hit a full concrete mixer truck at 5.30am one morning on our way to work. How do you hit a vehicle which is ten times your size on a deserted road at 5.30am ?
  4. Pat Gardiner – Eddie’s pal who always wore great clothes and made me feel like a country hick (and that’s not a spelling mistake on my part) !
  5. Tommy Darling – got fed up with Harry’s antics one day and wired up his metal clothes locker to some mains electric source to do away with Harry once and for all.
  6. Gary Blackwood – apart from being a genius in the Technical Drawing exercises also got fed up with Harry and altered the gas feeds when Harry was welding in order to blow him up. It nearly worked !
  7. Dougie Smith – always had a smile on his face and sang constantly. Constantly !! I remember him sharing a bottle of Lanliq (yuck) with me on a bus on the way to Parkhead to watch Rangers vs Celtic.
  8. Herbert Galloway – was from Stranraer so none of us could understand him initially but we got there in the end. Was always properly dressed and instinctively knew what was right or wrong. Poor guy !
  9. Graeme Houston – we had an ok relationship until I volunteered to do an Eskimo Roll in our two-man canoe without consulting Graeme. When he surfaced, spluttering and nearly drowned he attacked me with his paddle.
  10. Chick McGlade – was from Airdrie way and apart from letting me sleep in his car at the factory for 6 months (long story) he used to use the non-swearing way of swearing (Feckin this and Buckin that) claiming that he never swore ! I also seem to remember Chick and his wife-to-be ending up at the same restaurant on their stag and hen do’s on the same night ! That was Chick.
  11. Peter McKell – another sharp dresser who cost me a fortune when he introduced me to (a) his tailor and (b) his hairdresser. Peter was a gifted footballer who once had a trial for Chelsea so he used to run rings round us in our lunchtime games of footie.
  12. Eddie McColm the bain of my life. Was always moaning or groaning about something and once set fire to my socks when I was asleep just for fun ! Eddie was quite good at casting metals in college but we used to spike his sand so that his designs never came out.
  13. Robert Provan – was a mate of Dougie Smith’s because they came from Paisley. I just remember Robert being a nice guy.
  14. Gordon McLachlan ????? – this guy left after a short period of being surrounded by a bunch of complete reprobates. He’s probably a lawyer, surgeon or corporate banker by now which vindicates his decision. Only thing I can recall is that Gordon had a pronounced limp because he had one leg shorter than the other which allowed him to walk round the side of mountains quicker than the rest of us !
  15. Alistair Wallace –Walli’s claim to fame was peeing in a plastic bag (kindly provided by Gary) in class at college. The lecturer had got fed up with 20 guys coming back pissed from the pub each lunchtime and had banned toilet breaks. Unfortunately Gary had riddled the bag with holes and a stream of urine worked it’s way slowly to the front of class.
  16. Harry McIntosh – everybody’s target for all things nasty and evil and the nastier the better. Nobody could work out why except that he was a big arrogant git ! He managed unwittingly to complete a 50 mile trek with a 20 pound roller towel in his rucksack put there by your’s truly !
  17. Jim Lawson – another Paisleyite who was quite tubby if I remember rightly and being from Paisley I just remember him never buying a round in the Brabloch hotel at lunchtime. Still, they say that when Paisley people move house they take the wallpaper with them !  
  18. Jim Shields – was quite a quiet guy and as he was in the ‘other group’ (we were split into two groups of 10 but one guy left before he joined if you know what I mean) I did not get to see his darker side.
  19. Tom Cupplesnow this guy was a real star but because of that he was picked on mercilessly by the others. A typical example would have them ripping all the pockets off of his brand new set of overalls or throwing buckets of water over the top of the door as he sat doing his business in the loo. 

Photo is of Reid Kerr College where we spent our formative years.

15 September 2008


You Know When You’re Getting Old Because…….. 

I was sitting in the local bar waiting for Julie to join me for lunch when I heard someone talk about Christmas. Christmas ! Christmas ! We’ve not said goodbye to summer yet (I hope) and here was someone talking about Christmas. OK, it’s getting a bit cooler now and the cats are getting hairier but it’s still nearly 4 months away. And then I realised my problem wasn’t that Xmas was just around the corner it was that I still remember last Xmas ……..as if it was yesterday. And then I think about my wedding in February and it only seems like yesterday but it was nearly 7 months ago. Time is flying past at an incredible rate of knots and it seems to me that the older I get the faster it goes. And then I think, forgetting about the Glasgow health statistic which says I should have died 3 years ago, that in theory I should still have maybe another 20 to 30 years to go and I think that it took me eons to get to 25 years old so I should still have eons to go….but that’s not how it works for silver surfers like me. Time is passing, I am getting older and everyday there are inescapable signs which prove it.

You know you’re getting older when……..

       1.      You need your kids to set up your new mobile phone.

2.      The dog (who is 70 in human terms) has got less grey hairs than you have.

3.      Kids on trains or buses offer you their seats.

4.      The kids hate me taking them to school cause their pals ask if I am their granddad.

5.      Your pubic hairs start to go grey.

6.      Shops who offer old-age reductions start asking you for your pensioner’s card.

7.      You see two women together, one young, one old and you find the older woman more attractive.

8.      You start falling asleep on the sofa in front of the telly when there’s a great football match on.

9.      You start to eat muesli for breakfast.

10.  People look at you when you’re out in your convertible car and you know exactly what they’re thinking (old git, trying to regain his youth etc etc).

11.  People in the supermarket don’t bump into you with their trolleys (as much).

12.  When I see my neighbours after a few days and they greet me with expressions such as, ‘oh – you’re ok then’ or ‘we thought something had happened to you’.

13.  Your wife asks you if you still want your ashes scattered at the bottom of the garden.

14.  Your wife asks you if your will is up-to-date.

15.  Your wife asks you if there’s enough in the account to pay for a funeral.

16.  Guys you thought were as old as you start asking for your advice.

17.  Saga keep sending you junk mail.

18.  You start drinking Vodka and Red Bull to see if it helps.

19.  You watch Strictly Come Dancing instead of Ross Kemp on Gangs.

20.  You start cooking.

And finally………

21.  You start writing a blog !!